I started thinking about how I spent the last few days or weeks. Some days were good, filled with nature's beauty, amazing food and playing with dogs. Other days weren't as eventful, they were filled with sleeping in, making a dent in work and marathoning The Office (US). I love both kinds of days equally. Some days I need to be engulfed in nature contemplating everything and sending up gratitude for my many blessings. Other days I need to sink into escapism by marathoning a TV series because it takes my mind off things that worry me but are beyond my control. The days of worry bring perspective and the days of wander bring gratitude.
Each day has it's own set of hardships, worries, blessings and memorable moments. Most people rarely see the not-so-good stuff. Not because I'm ashamed of it or because I'm trying to convey a perfect life, but because I am thankful. I focus on who and what I am thankful for rather than harping on the negative. I try to find the good in everything. I have to. That's how I don't get lost in the bad days or get crushed by all of the worries that are out of my control. That is how I don't feel helpless.
I strive to be positive and I am vulnerable in the process. If you've read my captions on social media, you'll see that not everything is perfect. I've had to overcome a lot and it's not over. There is so much going on that brings me down but I don't let it define me. I am so incredibly thankful for who I am, where I am and how I got here. I wouldn't be who I am without everything that happened. And for that, I am thankful.
You may not be seeing the worst bits because I'm not one to take photos of my worries but honestly, you're not seeing the best bits either. I have a friend who asked Perry and I if we ever thought that we were putting out a love story that most relationships couldn't live up to. I was shocked because one, who is trying to "live up" to someone else's relationship? Why is this even a thing? And two, because it's not a fairytale, it's real life, our relationship isn't just for show. Perry said it best with his simple but real response, "You aren't even seeing the best bits." You aren't seeing the special quiet moments. You aren't seeing my eyes open up to the first smile from him in the morning. You aren't seeing him grind coffee and bring it to me while I'm working. You aren't seeing our mid-day hugs between tasks as our pup Jackson jumps in the middle of us trying to get love too. You aren't seeing the playful moments, inside jokes and belly laughs. You aren't seeing evening walks with fingers interlaced. You aren't seeing the sexy glances where words aren't needed. You aren't seeing the talking until 3am because even though we spent all day together we still have so much to say. So, no I haven't thought about how our love story comes off. I believe we are extremely blessed to have found love so young, and that's all the more reason to be excited about it.
Perry and I have thousands of photos to go through and edit from our travels and we never reach the end because we're spending the majority of our time being present and taking in each moment of each other, with each other. We rarely post images from our iPhones because we both prefer using our DSLR cameras. But I thought it would be nice to share some captures on our phones that don't make it to our social media accounts. Mine are mostly photos of Jackson and Perry's are mostly photos of food. Priorities ;) These aren't the best bits but they're pretty damn great.